Friday, March 25, 2011

Being Nice

I'm not usually one to vent about things, but I read a blog post yesterday that made me a little upset.

The bottom line? Some people can be so mean.

An aspiring author who shall remain nameless, but I'm sure some of you know who she is, let all of her readers know that she won't be posting as much from now on. Most of it is because she needs to stay sane and write, but another part of it is that she received a nasty e-mail from someone about what she posts on her blog, and it really hurt her.

Now, I know we all have opinions. I know not everyone agrees on everything. That's what makes us all so different and unique. BUT, when you have an opinion and you disagree with something someone else is saying, please tell them in a NICE manner. Don't attack the person because of their opinion. It's JUST an opinion. Now I have no idea what the e-mail she was sent was about, but if it made her think twice about posting writing advice and things, then I'm sure it wasn't pretty. It makes me so sad. This blogger has had amazing advice over the past few years she has been blogging. Even if she isn't published yet, she has excellent posts about finding an agent, editing, critique groups, you name it. She has over 1000 followers, and has a ton of people commenting every day. Just one person had to say something rude, and now she wont be posting writing advice anymore.

In my opinion, it doesn't matter if you're published or not. If you want to say something about something that has helped you in your writing journey, then go for it! It may not help everyone, but it may help someone. None of us are professionals. No one knows everything. That's why all of us writers have blogs. To help each other on our paths to publication, and even after. I've made some great friends in the blogging community and I hope to make many more.

Anyway, if I ever post something that I don't have any idea what I'm talking about, feel free to talk to me. But please don't send me a hate e-mail and bash everything I've ever said. The same goes for anyone else with blogs out there. One e-mail can ruin someone's entire day, week, life, career, whatever. You never know what people are going through, and if you say something rude just to make yourself feel better about yourself, it's going to come back and bite you in the butt someday.

And if you really want to send me a hate e-mail, go for it. I'll send you flowers and a thank you card after I read it.

Have a good weekend everyone. :)

19 comments:

Maggie said...

Great post. It really is true that it takes like 10 positives to outweigh 1 negative. Let's all be a little kinder. I'm sorry about your friend and I hope she returns to blogging.

Jeigh said...

Well said. Thumper's mom was so wise--If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!

Kayeleen Hamblin said...

Thanks for this post, Chantele. I was sad about that post yesterday too. I guess it's hard to remember in the middle of our own insecurities that other people are in the same place and we're all here to support each other, not get ahead by tearing down.

Cherie Reich said...

I completely agree. I was very saddened about hinted at blogger deciding not to post as often. I always loved reading her blog and her advice. Sometimes if you don't have something nice to say, then it is better not to say anything at all.

R.S.J. said...

Amen!

Myrna Foster said...

I'm sorry for your blogging friend. Hopefully, she'll decide not to let one mean person influence her decisions.

JEFritz said...

One bad apple really can ruin things. When a post is attacked like the one I think you're talking about, it's really hard to continue to post. And I don't blame her at all. Who wants to do something when it's no longer an enjoyable activity?

Kasie West said...

Totally agree. This is a very tight industry. Things come back around. It is always better to be nice.

erica and christy said...

A writer friend of mine just got a really nasty anonymous review saying basically "You'll never get published and this book could've been written better by someone who barely knows the english language." She's a strong person and knows this person was just downright nasty, but it still hurts. Boo to mean people. :(
erica

Trisha said...

Yeah, I think I know who you were talking about and it made me sad too. I really hope she doesn't let that one idiot get her down for too long.

Ciara said...

I'm so sorry this happened. She obviously had a ton of people who liked her blog. I had something similar happen. It took awhile, but I got over it. I hope she does too. *hugs*

Kari Marie said...

Ugh. This makes me sad. Hugs to this person (if she/he is reading this).

Susan Oloier said...

That is very sad :-( I am so sorry that happened. Thank you for the post. It is a nice reminder to make the world (albeit a blogging one) a positive place to be rather than a negative one.

Sierra Gardner said...

We talked about this in my writing group the other night and I totally agree. It is okay to have a different opinion, but we should always try to remember to treat other people with the same consideration and kindness that we hope to be treated with. Especially when it comes to our writing.

Chantele Sedgwick said...

@JEFritz If I got continuous mean e-mails I certainly wouldn't want to blog anymore. I hope she continues to blog though. :(
@Cherie Reich I'll miss her posts too.
@R.S.J.I'm glad you agree! :)
@Kayeleen Hamblin It's so sad when I hear about people getting mean e-mails or comments on their blogs. I agree, if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all.
@Jeigh I agree!
@MaggieSo true. One negative thing can hit you way harder than 10 nice things. :(
@erica and christyI'm so sorry for your friend! Seriously, who do these people think they are? I swear people just say mean things to make themselves feel better. :(
@Trisha Me too. :(
@Kasie West It's definitely a tight industry. Everyone has to watch what they say because one wrong comment could ruin your career or reputation.
@CiaraI think everyone has it happen at one point in their lives. I'm glad you got over it. It still sucks though, and I'm sorry it happened to you.
@Kari Marie I know. It sucks. I hope she's having a better day!
@Susan Oloier It is so sad. Your welcome. I just thought I'd say something about it. It made me feel better a little. :)
@Sierra Gardner I agree. Opinions are opinions. It's the way you share it that can get tricky. If you tell someone how to make their writing better, it's great! But if you tell them it sucks and they should never write again, then well, you get the idea. Thanks for stopping by! :)

Amie Kaufman said...

What incredibly poor behaviour! One of the things I love about the writing community is that it turns a solitary endeavour into something you can do amongst friends. Sending an email like that... well, I can't say anything nice, so I won't say anything at all! I do hope your friend reflects on all the good her blogging has done over time, and comes back to it if she'd like to.

Carol Riggs said...

Oh, that is just SAD. Very unfortunate. Usually the writing community is very supportive, but apparently sometimes it only takes one to crash the lovely party. Then again, maybe it's like getting your first negative review or bad rejection on a manuscript; later there may be healing and a bouncing back. Hope so.

And I know what you mean--I hope people would correct me (nicely) when I say something stupid or incorrect on my blog. We're all people, and we make mistakes and don't know everything.

Susan Fields said...

You're so right - if you have to disagree, then do it, but do it nicely. I know something like that would really be hard for me to get over, but I hope your friend will be able to put it behind her and jump right back into her blogging quickly.

Jessica Hill said...

I completely agree with you here. I know which blogger you're talking about, and I think it's really sad what happened, too. I haven't been reading her blog as long as a lot of people, but I have still found it very helpful and inspiring. It's just a shame that one person has to come along and tear a person down to make themselves feel better.