I'm not sure why I wanted to post this today, but I just had a feeling I needed to.
I started writing, just to write. To get the stories in my head down on paper. I loved the feel of creating a new world. Throwing characters into that world to see how they handled things. I never even thought about getting a book published, until my husband and sister told me to try. I am very surprised at myself that I even decided to try at all. I've never been one to put myself out there. I had no writing friends, or critique group. I had no idea what a query letter even was. I just wrote a silly book because I loved writing. No one would even read it, so why did I continue to write things down?
I was a great excuse maker, obviously. Because the excuses all come down to this. I never thought I would be good enough to publish a book. Honestly, I still don't. I don't write pretty descriptions. My prose is not beautiful. I have a hard time with setting. There are a hundred things I could name that I don't like about my writing. BUT, I do love the stories that I write. I love my characters. Each and every one. They are a part of me, and who wouldn't want to share something they loved with the world?
The idea of anyone besides my sister reading my book scared me to death. But, I felt that need. The need to try. The need to hold my own book in my hands someday and see my name in print. I thought, maybe if I tried my hardest, put myself out there and learned more of the craft, maybe my dreams of getting published would come true. So I queried. And queried. Polished, and revised. Learned several things I was doing wrong from my critique partner, and revised again. Made some writing friends. Researched writing. Researched agents, and queried some more.
Then I got the call. Never in my life had I felt so happy and scared at the same time. I still can't believe I have an agent who loves my work just as much as I do. I can't believe he believed in me enough to take me on as a client. I mean, come on. It's ME! Why would anyone want to take me on? I'm a nobody.
But, really? I am somebody. Having him love my work made me realize that I am good enough. Getting an agent was just the beginning in my writing journey. It is so much work, but I have loved every minute of it. I love revising. I love reading new scenes that make my book better. And I realized something else. I can do this publishing thing. I'm not setting my expectations super high, because this business is SO competitive. BUT, I do know that my agent believes in me, and my family and friends do too. And someday, when I get a book deal, I'll have so many people to thank. Writing is a solitary process, but you can't do it alone. You have to have support. You have to have someone else to believe in you. And if you don't? Shoot me an e-mail. I love all my writer friends. I love congratulating them on their successes. I love seeing them succeed. The writing community is so supportive. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without them.
So, if you ever feel like giving up, don't. If you love writing as much as I do, keep going.Write for yourself, because you love it. Because you enjoy it. And if nothing in this post makes any sense, just remember this one thing...
Don't ever think you aren't good enough. You are.