Warning: Personal post. :P
How many of you are afraid of querying? Afraid of rejection? Afraid of, you know, failing? **raises hand**
I think we all have that fear. Even best selling novelists are afraid sometimes. Afraid their next book won't sell. Afraid their agent/editor will hate their other ideas.
It's a common feeling for every writer to have.
But what about a different kind of fear. What if you're afraid you'll succeed? What if after all your hard work, you land an agent and sell a book? What happens after that?
That has been my biggest fear through this whole publishing journey of mine. I'm actually afraid I'll succeed. For a number of reasons. What if I won't be able to handle reviews? What if everyone hates my book? What if I won't be able to write another book again? How could I even get a book deal? I'm not that good of a writer! What if I'm known for the book that everyone hates? *sigh*
I sometimes miss the querying stage. Or the first time I realized I wanted to write. I was so naive about everything. The whole publishing business was so secretive and new to me. Now, it's still secretive, but I know a whole lot more about what goes into buying a book. It's crazy. It feels impossible. Overwhelming.
Now, don't get me wrong. I want to sell a book. I want to share my work with the world. I want to hold my book in my hands and smell the crisp new pages. I want to stare at my book sitting on my bookshelf and sigh when I realize how much work I did on it. I want people to fall in love with my characters like I did when I wrote them. I want this. But I also don't know how to handle all the fears that come with it. You know? Because they're real. And I'm human. I'll always have fears no matter what part of my journey I'm in. I just have to learn how to deal with them and believe in myself. Because all it comes down to is that I'm writing for me. I'm writing because I love to write. And if I love my books, nothing else matters.
Do you ever feel afraid of succeeding?