I hope everyone has a great weekend. As you read this, I'm off camping with my hubby's family. In cabins. Yes. I'm spoiled. You know how I feel about real camping. NOT a fan. So, I'll see you all back here on Monday. And before I go, you know that silly saying -
"What would you do for a Klondike bar?"
Well, I wanted to ask you all,
"What would you do for a book deal?"
Make me laugh, folks. That is all you have to do to enter this lovely silly contest. After the week and a half I've had, I need a little funny in my life. And there may or may not be a copy of Matched by Ally Condie up for grabs if I pick your entry.
*Contest open to US residents only. So sorry for those who aren't in the US! I'm poor. :( You CAN still leave a comment though. And I do love you! I promise I do!! ;)
I will pick a winner on Friday! :D
That is all. ;)
20 comments:
I would give a package of klondike bars for a book deal.
I would dance on my head wearing nothing but a tutu while expertly Frisbee-ing Klondike bars into the teeth of my adoring fans.
Well, not really. But I would do a lot of crazy stuff for a book deal. However, I don't think it works that way. I guess I'll just have to stick to the good old fashioned work-hard method. How boring. :)
Let's see. I would:
1) Give away all my free time (and much of my family time) to the pursuit of carpal tunnel syndrome.
2) Spend years informing my friends, family, and random strangers that I'm inclined to crazy delusions of grandeur--and that I hear voices in my head and talk to imaginary people.
3) Beg the same to support my delusions by mercilessly tearing apart little pieces of my soul.
4) Kill off my favorite-est darlings.
5) Invite hundreds of professionals to personally reject me. By form letter.
6) Allow at least one industry professional to tell me I must change drastically to be popular, and before she'll introduce me to her friends. Change drastically, as directed.
7) Bite my nails, develop a few ulcers, lose some hair, grow some gray ones to replace them, and remain utterly useless for anything besides the aforementioned self-destructive activities for months on end.
8) Rinse and repeat. As often as it takes.
I would hold a sign reading, "Where I get my ideas," dye my hair the colors of the rainbow, and wear a headband with a light bulb sticking out the top. Then I'd run through the streets singing, "Somewhere, over the rainbow," even if it did make everyone want to stay far far away from any of my ideas. :)
To get a book deal I’m slowly taking over Kiersten White’s life. I’m pretty close to the same height. OK, I’m a little taller but not much. I’m watching her vlogs to master her facial expressions and speech patterns. Then I only need to cut my hair. Not only will I have a book deal I’ll already be a bestselling author.
Kiersten if you're reading this I'm not crazy I promise, you don't need to be afraid of me. Why can't we be friends?
I'd lock myself in a room with nothing but my imagination and a computer.
I'd give up the internet for better productivity.
I'd let people shred my manuscript with the highlight and comment feature of MS Word.
I'd dry my eyes and rethink my plot, my characters, everything.
I'd stop eating chocolate. OMGosh! I really would.
I'd quit the prison, stick out my tongue, laugh an evil laugh, and never go back! - [As an employee I am allowed visitation rights to my home and family for a few hours each night. In the morning, it is back to work to some of the craziest things imaginable.]
@Robin Weeks I wanna know what industry professional told you to change and how. I'm so curious!
@Heidi--no one... yet. Just saying I'm WILLING. :)
@Heidi--really, I haven't done any of the things I listed past #4. :)
Ha ha ha! You guys are hilarious! :D
Well for a Klondike bar I would wrestle THE polarbear for it, and for a book deal... well... I would seriously be as annoying as possible by getting to know as many people who might give me a book deal and then I would send them remiders about my cool new book that would be AMAZING if they published and when they finaly said yes after the first day I would send them their very own Klondike bars. Oh and a polarbear too.
Oooorrrr I would train the klondike polar bear and sick it to the agent until they give me a deal. Which ever one works the fastest. Probably training a polar bear.
I would give away my first born--but he is 12 and really grouchy so it isn't much of a sacrifice and they would probably give him back anyway, so that won't work.
I would give you Haydyn. And I wouldn't take her back unless I was the winner!!!! Bahahahaha! That would guarantee me a win. Oh the evil scheming I can do. ;)
Robin, the only reason you haven't done #5 yet is because you haven't queried yet. Not that I'm assuming YOU will get hundreds of rejections, just that I heard that's the nature of the beast.
@Donna--exactly. :) (And I'm sure I'll get plenty of rejections. Brodi did!)
For a book deal I could
write my story in wood
with only my tongue as a pen
I’d sell all my hair
for a chain you could wear
on your lovely gold watch, and then
I’d swallow my pride
and get my skin dyed
any color that you could wish
I’d write a lame poem
and not clean my home
not even the slimy soap dish
I’d dress like a lobster
and act like a mobster
then do the splits at the pep rally!
Though a book deal is nice
I think the right price
is a nice shiny book by Miss Ally
I don't do the real camping thing either. Drives hubby razy, but so not my thing.
I would find Waldo.
Um....write an amazing book.
The end.
;)
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