I wasn't going to write this post. I've kept putting it off and thought maybe I'll write it in a year from now when everything settles down. But it keeps nagging me and if someone is going through the same thing as me, maybe they'll find this helpful. Or feel better that they aren't alone.
Last week I parted ways with my agent. He's been my agent for a year now and although I will always respect him and think he's very capable and SO nice, he wasn't right for me or my books. Now, some of you might be thinking, "Are you freaking kidding me? He's an agent!" I know that. He's actually a great agent. I've heard stories of clients trying to get their agent to e-mail them back for months and hear nothing. He was always great about that. We just didn't fit. I knew it wasn't right.
I've been sick about this for a while now. I knew I was going to part ways with him a long time ago, I just didn't want to do it. I wanted to wait and see what happened, but when you know something is right, you gotta do it. And I couldn't put if off any longer.
Now I'm back to square one. Do I regret being with that agent for a year? No. I learned a ton about myself, about my writing and about the industry. I don't regret it for a second. Do I wish things would have worked out? Sure. I know things will work out because of all this, but it's scary. And it's hard.
So now, I'm on the agent hunt again. I don't know when or if I'll ever get another one. I don't know if the book I'm querying will get picked up. I've had a lot of thoughts go through my head the past week or so. Should I just give up? Should I stop writing? Is this even worth it, now that I have to start over?
Yes. It is.
I enjoy writing. No, I LOVE it. And I'll keep going. Keep writing books and I know things will work out when it's the right time.
Thanks for listening. It's nice to get it all out there. I'm a very private person and don't talk about behind the scenes stuff a lot, but I had to say something. You are the most supportive people out there and I knew you'd understand. If any of you ever need anything, let me know. :)